antlion

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A Strange Conversation

I had a strange iChat conversation last week and have linked it here for your enjoyment, and also so that the cops will have the necessary information should anything happen to me. Apparently, I exchanged emails with this guy when I sold my PowerBook on Craigslist about a year ago and he's been missing me ever since. As it turns out, he just wants to be friends, and we've actually got a lot in common.

LIFE LESSON #1, or Why You Should Always Read the Menu

The first time I ever went to Moe's, a friend of mine told me to get the Homewrecker, which I then attempted to do:

Moe:Welcome to Moes...
Me:I'll have a Homewrecker
Moe:Rice and Beans?
Me:Yeah.
Moe:Black or Pinto?
Me:Uh...Black.
Moe:Steak or Chicken?
Me:Steak.
Moe:Lettuce, cheese, and salsa?
Me:Um...sure; a little bit of each.
Moe:Sour Cream and Guacamole?
Me:Eh, no thanks. That's good.

[That last bit is important because the Sour Cream and Guacamole are what separates the Homewrecker from the slightly lesser of the two burritos, the Joey Bag of Donuts.]

At checkout:
Moe:Joey?
Me:What?
Moe:Joey.
Me:Um...Michael?
Moe:Joey Bag of Donuts?
Me:What?
Moe:Did you order the Joey Bag of Donuts?
Me:Um, no, no. I got a Homewrecker.

Read the menu before you order. If you don't, you might look stupid and frustrate people. Like the time I tried to convince a Parisian waitress that it was perfectly reasonable for someone to specify "hen" when ordering a chicken sandwich.